If Only
by eli2abelle
Summary: It was supposed to be a simple case. Open and shut. That's what we were told, anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so here is the NCIS LA fic that I have been working on. I think this was actually born a few months ago but was only ready for anyone else to see a few days ago ;) It's late, and I can't be bothered saying that it's a fantastic piece of work with absolutely no spelling errors whatsoever... it's probably a lie anyway. So instead I will choose to say don't hate me... and happy reading!**

* * *

Deeks is late. Again. I'm going to kill him.

 _If only. If only he had been here on time… maybe it would have been different. But he didn't, and it wasn't._

"Seeing as Mister Deeks has failed to make an appearance, Miss Blye and Mister Callen will be going to the safehouse to meet our witness."

I look up with a frown, certain I have misheard her, as Sam starts to object.

"Hetty-"

She holds up a hand to stop him. "I suggest you get a move on."

I follow Callen out of ops, leaving behind an… annoyed… Sam. That's putting it nicely.

"Go on!" I hear her say to him as I walk down the steps and over to my desk, grabbing my gun out of my top drawer.

"You won't _believe_ how long it took me to get here!"

I glance up to see Deeks throw his jacket on his desk. "Oh, I can," I say sarcastically. I don't miss the slight chuckle that Callen gives as he walks towards the exit.

"What's up, Kensilina?"

"Hetty," I say as I pick up my jacket and follow Callen, sending one last look back at Deeks to allow him to see my grin.

He looks up to see our boss watching him from up on the balcony. "Ha!"

* * *

The girl sitting in front of me is everything I wish I was at that age. Tall, slim and beautiful. Her long brown hair falls over her face, and she doesn't make any attempt to brush it away. As Callen talks to her mother, she subconsciously tugs on the hem of her skirt.

"Why is NCIS involved? Has this got something to do with my husband?"

I look over at her. "We're not sure yet, but her attempted kidnapping could be related to the assignment he was working on."

She gives a small smile. "He never liked to talk about his work at home. He just wanted to spend time with our daughter." She wipes a tear from her cheek.

"Would you mind telling me exactly what happened this morning?" Callen asks her.

I turn back to the girl sitting across from me. "You want to see a cool card trick?"

After a couple of seconds, she looks up. "Me?"

I nod, and the corners of her mouth turn up a little.

"Sure."

A couple of minutes later, she watches, fascinated, as take her chosen card and hide it behind my back for a moment before showing it to her again.

"This is your card, right?"

She nods, and I put it down on the deck of cards on the table in front of me.

"Now I'm going to put it somewhere in the deck…" I take the top card and slide it in somewhere else. "Now… it will be on the top again." I flip over the top card - the same one that I had seemingly put in the middle of the deck just a few seconds earlier.

"How did you do that?"

"Simple." I do the trick again, slower, and she laughs when she realises what I had done.

"Clever! Can I have a turn?"

I hand over the cards and watch as she attempts to recreate my trick.

"I'm not as good as my partner. He's the one who taught me in the first place."

"He sounds really cool."

I smile. "He is."

We sit in silence for a few more minutes.

"You know…" I say.

She looks up at me expectantly.

"He actually has a nickname for me. It's the name I usually use when I'm undercover. You know what it is?"

She shakes her head.

"Fern," I say with a smile.

She laughs. "He has good taste then!"

I smile, knowing it would make Deeks' day if he knew that Callen and I were protecting a girl called Fern.

* * *

"Okay darling. Time for bed."

Fern gives a small sigh. "See you tomorrow then, Fern?"

"See you tomorrow," I say with a smile and a wave as she follows her mum upstairs.

"You good, Kens?"

"Yeah. I'm good," I say to Callen, who is standing across the room, leaning against the wall. "You know you can sit down, right?"

"I prefer to stand. Anyway, I think I might take another walk around the property before we lock up for the night." He walks out of the room, and I hear the front door slam as he exits the house.

We're at Fern and her mother's house for the night. Hetty had wanted us to protect them, but the mother - Melissa - had drawn the line at taking them to a safehouse, and we couldn't force her.

I stand up and stretch, stiff from sitting in the same position on the couch for two hours while watching a movie with Fern. I hear a crash upstairs, and freeze. Slowly, I draw my weapon and call out, "Melissa? Everything okay up there?" I don't get a response. I make my way up the stairs. "Hello? Fern… was that you?" I am walking towards the room I know belongs to Fern when I pass an open door, and see movement out of the corner of my eye. I swing around, but it's too late. Something hits me in the back of the head, and I fall to the ground. My gun slips from my grasp, and I am reaching for it when hands grab me and hold me down. I feel a burning in my arm. "No…" I try to turn around, but my arms are pulled behind my back forcefully. The last thing I hear before losing consciousness is the front door slamming shut, and Callen yelling my name.

 _If only._

* * *

 **No... I did NOT write this all in one night! Copy'n'paste truly is the best invention ever! So... what did you think? Terrible? Average? Terrible? Drop me a comment if you want to feel heard. Trust me... you WILL be heard (by me and everyone else who happens to be near when my phone starts beeping sporadically).**


	2. Chapter 2

**It's 9.36pm. I want to go to bed. You guys should be glad that I'm willing to stay up just to post this. It shows my commitment. Kind of. Not really. It would... if I wasn't always complaining. Meh. Hope you like it... or whatever. I don't. Just kidding. Kind of. Not really. I'm rambling.**

* * *

Contrary to common belief, it is not possible to slowly return to consciousness, senses returning one by one as if waking up from a deep sleep. Instead, you come back to reality with a bang. You have no idea where you are. Or what happened. Or why you are tied up to a chair in the middle of a darkened room. Okay, so that probably doesn't happen to most people. But it's happened to me.

 _If only. If only I had seen that person sooner… maybe it would have been different. But I didn't, and it wasn't._

I frantically look around, and see Callen sitting in an identical chair not far from me.

He's slumped over, and, like me, his wrists are tied to the arms of the chair. He has a large gash on the back of his head, and I can see the blood trickling through his hair and down the side of his face.

"Callen!" He doesn't react when I whisper his name. After a moment, I slide down a bit in my seat and stretch out my leg, nudging him with my boot. Still nothing. Dread fills me. "Callen! Can you hear me? Wake up!" I kick him again. Harder.

He coughs, lifting his head slightly. "Kens?" He asks, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Yeah. It's me."

He suddenly seems alert, sitting up straighter. "Kensi! Are you okay?" He looks me over, searching for any other injuries.

"It's okay Callen! I'm fine… really!"

He seems to relax a little when I say this. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't wake up. We've been here for three days now," he says to me.

I stare at him shocked. "What? How? I mean… the last thing I remember was being in the house." I close my eyes, trying to think back. "I heard a noise in her bedroom. When I went to look… someone took me from behind. They… drugged me?" I open my eyes and look over at him, unsure.

He nods. "I found you. They used you as bait, grabbed me while I was trying to rouse you and threw us both in a van. We travelled for at least four hours before we got here. They've been coming in twice a day to bring water and inject you with something. Probably to keep you unconscious."

"And your head?" I change the subject quickly, not wanting to think about it.

He shrugs. "I tried to take on one of them when he brought the food this morning. Didn't end too well."

I chuckle. "Good on you Einstein." My smile disappears. "What about Fern? Is she okay?

He doesn't reply at first. "She… I haven't seen her since that night. Or her mother. They weren't with us in the van."

I bite my lip.

"I'm sure they're fine Kensi," He says with a small smile. Suddenly, I hear the sound of a key turning in a lock.

Two men enter. They are both wearing masks. One of them sees me, and turns to his partner, yelling at him in a language I don't understand.

Callen does. He begins to shout at the man as his partner runs out of the room, returning quickly with a syringe.

My stomach drops at the sight, and I begin struggling against the ropes holding me down. "Please… no…" _What the heck? Since when do I ever say please?!_

Callen is fighting to get to me. "Don't you touch her!"

The man steps behind me and holds my head still as his partner moves towards me. I feel a sharp pain in my arm as the needle breaks my skin, and blood starts running down my arm. I'm determined to not give them a reaction, so I instead choose to stare at the ceiling and keep my mouth shut.

"Kensi!" Callen yells. "Get away from her!"

It's over as quickly as it had begun. The needle is taken away, my head released.

I don't even have the energy left to look back up at my captors.

"Don't worry Kensi! I'm going to get us out of here," I hear Callen say.

The sound of his strangled cry as the man lashes out at him is something I will never forget. Nor the moment a hand is placed under my chin, and my head forced up to look at Callen, and the blood dribbling down his chin from his split lip.

"Don't give up hope, Kensi," he says.

But all I can see is the blood. So much blood. I want to close my eyes so badly, but I have to stay awake. If not for me, for Callen. If I allow myself to lose consciousness, he will once again be alone. He will have to fight this fight alone. I can't do that to him. I _won't_ do that to him. But I have no choice. My eyes slide shut, the darkness pulling me under. I can hear his voice from across an ocean. Calling me. Pleading. But I can do nothing. _I'm sorry_.

 _If only._

* * *

 **So now it's officially 9.39pm. Still want to go to bed. I kind of copied the 'if only' thing from a book that I had to study in english. Don't tell anyone. It _was_ a good book though. I cried. Yeah, I'm not too good with sad books. Funny thing is, no-one else thought it was sad. Only me. Well, I _did_ cry during finding dory. And Moana. And a billion other disney movies. I'M NOT GOOD WITH SAD THINGS, OKAY?! Okay so now it's 9.41pm. I'm going to bed. Review if you liked it. If you didn't... review anyway. If you can be bothered. I can't. 9.42pm now. Bye.**


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